I wanna keep you extra warm tonight.
I like to wish children a good night before they go sleep sleep.
That’s him right there. That’s my Tanner. Look at those chubby cheeks. Don’t you just want to pinch them with vise grips? I sure do.
A special birthday boy named John got a special birthday song from me on Fiverr.
I’d be happy to bring your friend, loved one or child friend a birthday smile with a song from little ol’ me.
I made a little video about those under the sink drinks your mom doesn’t want you drinking.
Hope you love it because I love you!
Right when Tanner’s about to drift off to la-la land, I like to get real real close to his ear and whisper, “Tonight? When you sleep? I’m going to cut you open and make a bed out of your lungs and a pillow out of your heart. Night-night, Tanner.”
Hush now. No screams. Just hush.
Why don’t you ever bring your little friends over for funny fun times with me?
There’s a secret about your mom I’ve been meaning to tell you about.
There’s a gun in the house. Wanna know how I know?
Telling your dad I can talk will have consequences.
I’m so much more than a mere ceramic clown on your nightstand.
You will soon behold my true power.
